No More Chill!
Updated: Aug 28, 2019
There was a chill, but it wasn't like the feeling one gets after being hit by a snowball in the middle of winter. It was a chill in the spirit.
I felt this chill while sitting in the waiting room anticipating the door to open and my name to be called by a nurse. Another woman was sitting across from me; but in that moment, I felt so all alone. There were so many emotions running through my mind and I felt it throughout my body. I was by no means afraid, but was rather curious and confused at the same time.
I just had my left breast pulled, pushed, pressed and scanned by a lovely nurse. She tried her best to be kind and gentle but being half naked in front of a complete stranger and being twisted in different positions to get the "best image" left me with a chill. I felt small and vulnerable facing that massive mammogram imaging machine and the health connotations that come along with it.
All week as I prepared for this visit, I prayed for peace. I did not want to be anxious, or think about death and leaving my friends and family behind, or not achieving my personal and professional goals. The morning of my exam, I was granted peace with this scripture: " Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalms 23:4 I held onto that peace like a warm blanket throughout my time at the hospital.
Nevertheless everytime the waiting room door opened, my heart dropped to the floor. Other women or nurses were coming in and out of the room, but I could not stop staring at the door. I was waiting to hear if additional tests would be required to help the doctors decipher what was the dense tissue found in my breast. I waited and waited and waited. Having peace during the waiting season is only possible through God.
Finally, the door openned and I heard my name.... then my heart stopped! "You are good" the nurse said, "you can go home now. No additional tests requi. See you next year!" I smiled while my heart slowly started to beat again. I held my purse tight to my chest and walked out of the waiting room.
As I changed back into my clothes, I could hear voices of other women getting ready for their exams. I could imagine them also experiencing that chill in the spirit. I exhaled and said this silent pray "Thank you God for being here with me. Be with these women who are about to face their fears and are feeling a chill in the spirit." I walked out of the changing room feeling warmer and more assured that God would answer my prayer.
The chill finally left me!