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Born Crippled


I was born, with a serious birth defect. Yes, me. I was born a crippled child. My leg was stuck to my underarm. To my knowledge, medically, there was and still is NO correction except amputation.

My fate was being decided when my mother said a woman presented her with a prayer that she should pray for 3 days while moving my leg. Bear in mind, my leg was firmly positioned toward my underarm. So technically I had one leg.

It seemed a ridiculous regiment for something so impossible and doctors already saying I will 'NEVER WALK'. But in desperation to not have a crippled child I guess, my mother tried the unusual prayer regiment. Two days after attempting to move my leg, nothing happened. But it was a 3-day requirement, so my mother continued on the 3rd day and according to her recollection, the leg came out of place and quickly bounced back. But at least it moved for the first time.

Over time, it remained in its stretched-out position and I was able to walk, but not perfectly. I would later learn from family how much I struggled as a child and would often fall. Those younger days I don't recall very well, as I did not want to recall that part of my life. I found it painful and embarrassing that I was born crippled.

As a result, I focused more on the pain and embarrassment, rather than the miracle, so I blocked out the encounter and asked my mother not to share it with anyone. But there was something I could not block out, the lingering effects of my deformity as I got older. For years, I carried a secret. That I would spontaneously fall, as my deformed leg would without instigation twist, taking me to the ground. One of my worst episodes happened just a few years before entering the ministry. I ended up in the emergency room with the utmost pain and a very swollen leg.

I used to be afraid to go places, even on dates for fear that I would fall and be embarrassed publicly. I also did not speak about it to anyone but silently, it hunted my thoughts. This happened from the time I was able to walk as a child into my adult years. I looked very normal on the outside, but inside I carried this issue.

Then my call to pastoral ministry began in 2006 which later led to formal training in 2007. I now had a new problem. I went from being an introverted, quiet personality to an animated speaker who moved about in pulpits. I did not like that aspect of my life for various reasons, but mostly because my fear of falling from my birth defect intensified. What if I'm embarrassed before an audience, constantly hunted my thoughts, as I would get ready to speak. I would often bend my head before speaking and plead with God, not to let me fall before an audience. I think Satan would have taken pleasure in embarrassing me.

Well, this year marked 15 years since I began speaking and I HAVE NEVER FALLEN even one time. Not before an audience, and not anywhere else. I actually had not even realized it all those years until recently. As I passed thru some fierce adversities last year, I felt the weight. I found myself wondering if all the things I was doing in ministry were having an impact (I was having a moment). It was then God brought me encouragement, by revealing to me how He had answered the prayer as an infant to make me walk and then used the ministry to perfect that deformity, by ensuring I did NOT fall again.

Today, I still live an imperfect life because I am an imperfect vessel. But I hold dear the thought, that I am NOT a popular, famous, person. I am a Servant. And that is how I want to always be known and remembered. For it is A - The Master, Who has made possible today, all that I am able to do in life and ministry. No credit here.

Are you praying and not seeing answers? My deformity was two-part healing. First after birth and not until my Pastoral Calling. Some things may seem to take long with God, but, He has a plan. He obviously designed ministry as where the 2nd part of my healing would occur. \

Another indication that a call to ministry is not always all the things we make it out to be. So, yes, at times I feel discouraged and think my work is in vain. But then He brings such miraculous reminders to revive my soul again.

Struggling, hurting, rejected, in pain, etc.? I've felt it all. It's called life. It will pass. Weeping endures for a night, but joy will come in the morning. There is a plan for our lives! Stay the Course! (Jeremiah 29: 11)

- Submitted by JF

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"It's called life. It will pass"........We can endure.

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