My heart dropped as soon as I saw the length of the document. One full page! The response in my body was triggered immediately by fear. Its like surviving an abusive relationship. Even after you leave the chaos and danger, you remain psychologically scared for long time.
Seeing that one full page of words evoked all types of emotions in me. The last time I saw so many words on a page for my job review, the words were all negative. Before reading a single word, I prepared myself for the negativity.
As I began reading the first few paragraphs, it hit me that there was not one negative commentary in them. I kept on reading while anticipating a "BUT" after every positive statement. When I read the last word, tears flowed from my eyes. My review was all positive. All I could think about as I read the last words was "BUT, God." Full of gratitude, I wiped away the tears from my eyes and look up to the ceiling with a smile.
Only through God's mercy and grace could have I received such raved reviews despite being on the job for less than a year. I reflected on my last review, at my previous company, which contained all negative words. However through faith and by trusting God, He turned my darkness into day.
God said in Isaiah 61:7 that "Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours." I am a living testimony that God restores and instead of shame, He lovingly offers us a double portion of blessings.
If you are in darkness or you are consistently hearing or reading negative words, meditate on Psalms 40 which summarizes my story. It says...
'I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the Lord. Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust, And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works Which You have done; And Your thoughts toward us Cannot be recounted to You in order; If I would declare and speak of them, They are more than can be numbered."
God has restored me and He will do the same for you even by leveraging one full page of positive words. Thank you, Lord.